What drives you?

I remember applying for the Taylor's World Class Scholarship (TWCS) and in 2009 where I applied for Principal's Scholarship. Both required me to submit an essay on my career aspirations. 
Back in 2009, when i was 17, I wrote about how I wanted to be like mother. A capable woman, taking care of 3 girls while juggling a company w 100+ employee. Wow was I a 17 year old.

2 years later, upon finishing my foundation program, and in the midst of my first year in uni, I had to answer the same question but this time with a certain expected level of maturity. I don't remember exactly what i wrote, but it was something about being the best in either advertising or PR and to buy my first branded purse by 24 (lol adding personality to the essay so to say). I also said something about monetary gains as a career aspiration because I feel that money can act as a motivation in case my passion decides to take a day off.

WAS SUPER HAPPY I GOT THE PRINCIPAL'S SCHOLARSHIP AND sad to say I did not get the TWCS and failed at the first stage of the interview -.- FAIL.COM. ANYWAYS.

Then i remember the TWCS results broke me. felt damn worthless wtf because i wasn't worthy of a 100% waiver. Getting the interview then not getting through the 2nd stage is like; you're good, but not good enough so EFF OFF. AT THE SAME TIME GETTING A CREDIT FOR MY CRR SUMMARY. talk about adding oil to fire -.-
Now, doing my internship, living under a monster I call my ladyboss who is constantly trying to exercise her authority on me. Ken thinks it's an indian thing which I have no idea what Indian thing -.- care to explain indian women and authority to me?

BACK TO THE TOPIC.

I am now stuck under my ladyboss, and very little monetary motivation. Every morning as I am having a drink in the office (non-alcoholic lol too early) I ask myself. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE.

SO.

WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL HERE.

FYI. i do understand that i am expected to accept things being thrown at me (not literally because if they really threw smtg at me i would throw a bitch fit and probably throw something back), to learn and grow as an intern. But i am lacking motivation.